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By that logic, the most important identifier that everyone puts forth to the world is a "preference"? Do you remember when we were told that being gay was a preference? Like buying a brand of shampoo, we just choose between between gay and straight. is just as ludicrous to suggest that a person who was born with male genitalia is by definition a male. There are many other factors involved. Also, as a gay men, I like men. I am not sexually attracted to anyone who identifies as a woman, no matter how "unrealistic" they may be. It doesn't stop be from befriending trans women, just from having sex with them.